It’s been a while since I’ve posted, I know. I do have an excuse, but it’s not exciting nor traumatic so I think I’ll just refrain from elaborating and instead leave you with this tidbit: sometimes shit just doesn’t pan out the way you think it will. And that is okay.
I know, you’re probably scrunching up your face right now as you read this, waiving your fist at the computer and yelling angrily, “You can’t tell us you have an excuse and then leave us hanging!” Well, this time I can, because it’s really not interesting. At all.
And on the note of being cryptic and elusive, what the fuck is up with people posting the most obscure yet clearly pointed Facebook statuses? They are the worst. Worse than baby spam. Worse than poorly lit food photos (seriously, dude, your food looks like shit, and I’m surprised you didn’t actually die from eating it). Worse than photo collages with, like, 84 photos so that you can’t actually see a single photo but instead it just looks like a photo mosaic of an oil spill.
Did I mention they’re the worst?
To avoid being a total dick, I’m refraining from posting some of the crap that appears on my News Feed. But just for shits and giggles, how about I share some equally pathetic fake statuses. I worked hard on these, digging deep into that empty part of my soul that I try to fill with Oat Fudge Bars. Feel free to grab them and use them as your own whenever you’re feeling exceptionally needy.
“I guess you can only help people as much as they want to be helped. Officially giving up.”
“So many thoughts running through my mind right now. Do I take the long hard road or the easy road?”
“Not this again. Sigh …”
“Sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth trying.”
“Why is it that whenever someone else asks for help, I’m always there, but when I need help I get nothing?”
And my all-time fave:
But let’s not stop there–please, add to the list in the comments below. I bet we can get a really shitty list going, which, in this case, shitty = amazing.
Wait, what did I come here to do? Oh yeah, tell you guys how to make amazing cauliflower. But in this case amazing ≠ shitty, it’s just amazing.
I made a large batch, but feel free to halve or even quarter the recipe. And if you’re wondering if the mustard seeds are necessary, well, they absolutely are!
Roasted Curried Cauliflower
6 Tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
2 Tbsp curry powder
2 tsp garlic powder
zest of one lemon
1 tsp sea salt
fresh ground pepper to taste
2 tsp mustard seed
2 heads of cauliflower
Pre-heat oven to 400C.
Whisk oil, curry powder, garlic powder, lemon zest, and salt and pepper in a large bowl until combined.
Meanwhile, in small pan with a lid, heat mustard seeds over medium-high heat. They will start popping so be sure the lid is on. Once the popping dies down, add mustard seeds to curry sauce and mix.
Cut cauliflower into florets and toss in curry sauce until all pieces are coated.
Spread cauliflower onto parchment paper-lined baking sheet and top with any sauce that remains at the bottom of the bowl.
Roast until cauliflower begins to brown (about 25-30 minutes). Pull out cauliflower, toss on pan, and put back in the oven for another 25-30 minutes until cauliflower is a golden brown and even slightly charred.
Serves 4-6, depending on how much you love cauliflower.